My path towards this journey is not an uncommon one. I find myself in my mid-30s adrift without a meaningful purpose to direct my life. I spent my 20s working to establish my career as a software developer and building a relationship with a partner. But as I entered my 30s, my relationship was coming to an end, and programming was starting to lose the magic that it had held for me in my earlier years. More and more, each year seemed to resemble the one before, familiar patterns and cycles that held me in their sway.
I suppose the story starts with the COVID pandemic in 2020. Just a few months prior to the initial two week shutdown, my partner and I split. It was largely amicably, thankfully, as we owned a home together, in which we would continue to live in for the next year and a half as we waited for the world to return a bit more to normal. Through this difficult period, we each tried to live our own lives as much as possible, pursuing new relationships and finding hobbies to keep us busy.
It was during this period that I first began to explore the world around me. It started with long walks on winter nights. The streets, already left vacant by the pandemic, were absolutely desolate in -20°C temperatures. I had the place entirely to myself. I started wandering my community and the surrounding areas. What started as a way to get out of the confines of my house and get some light exercise blossomed into a new wonder as I started to appreciate nature in a way that I never had before. I spent hours finding the nooks and crannies of Fish Creek Provincial Park, beautiful even in its frozen state.
Eventually, as both winter and the world began to thaw, it was time to start moving on with life. I found a new apartment, in a new part of the city, and had a new world to discover. For the next 4 years, this apartment would be my home base as I expanded my horizons and began to catalogue the various beautiful sights the city had to offer. This renewed a long slumbering interest in photography that had resided in me since I was a teenager and culminated in a small Instagram page where I uploaded my various discoveries, @walkingyyc.
At the same time that exploring and photography were starting to take on increased prominence in my life, I was developing another hobby that had taken root during the pandemic, drawing. I had doodled on and off for years, and had picked up some of the basics from online courses and videos. But it wasn’t until the pandemic forced us all inside that I had time and space to dedicate to honing my skills. I, again, took to Instagram to document my progress, seeking to capture the learning process (@brandon.lefaivre). I leaned towards pen and paper as my medium initially, before starting to expand to paint and experimenting with pencil. Much of my work leaned into the abstract, starting as simple doodles and growing increasingly complex as I added detail and texture. Over time, my representational skill continued to grow, as I became more confident reflecting reality in my drawings.
Years passed and eventually the things that had been new and exciting about my city began to become familiar and comfortable. I knew all of the good places and when the best times to be there were. So I put this knowledge to use, along with some new toys. I picked up a Nikon Coolpix P1000 camera, famous for it’s incredible zoom capabilities and began playing my own version of Pokemon Go, photographing birds.
As I went about filling my life list with new birds, I went further and further afield to find my feathery subjects. Eventually, I was leaving the confines of the city to go set up a tripod on the prairies or in the foothills hoping for a new sight to come along. I began to dream of back/bike-packing throughout the province trying to check off every bird in my copy of Birds of Alberta.
These escapes filled my weekends, but they didn’t fully inure me from the day to day monotonies of life. The work that I had once found so exciting and interesting, was increasingly becoming a drag. A foray into the world of online dating proved unfruitful, anxiety inducing and depressing. A bleak period of restlessness and dissatisfaction followed. It was in this period that the seed of an idea began to germinate.
Like most people, I had always daydreamed of leaving everything behind to travel the world. However, unlike many people, I found myself in the fortunate position where I might actually be able to make it happen. With no partner, no children, no property, an established career that I would be able to jump back into, and enough savings to last me a while with some prudent budgeting. On paper, everything looked good. There was only one thing that I would need to do to make it happen. The scariest thing. Decide to do it.
It took me a couple of months of turning it over in my head. Debating the pros and cons. Wondering what could really come from it. Questioning whether it would prove to be disastrous. Am I suited for that kind of life? Do I have the temperament to deal with the frustrations, anxieties, and insecurities? I still don’t know the answers to those questions. But, I decided there was only one way to find out.
As may be evident by this point, I’m an overthinker and a planner, despite my protestations for the latter charge. So in January, I gave a full 6 months notice for my plans to leave to my manager. I wound down all of the my existing projects (though some stubbornly persisted right up until the last minute), planned training and continuity sessions for my old projects and maintenance work, and finally said goodbye to my coworkers.
For the last month, I have been busy preparing for the trip. Planning what to bring, packing up my apartment, and moving everything into storage. But, I’ve also already begun having fun. My sister was married, in Invermere at the beginning of the month, to a wonderful man in a beautiful location (including an arrival of the bride by helicopter!). I got a quick back-country camping trip in with some friends at the Skoki Loop in Banff. And another car-camping trip over a rainy weekend at our friend’s family property near Pigeon Lake, featuring their newly completed and freshly mosaic-ed pizza oven.
And now, here we are. Less than a week from the beginning of my adventure. I’ve spent the last week with friends and family, enjoying as much of their company as I can before I take my first steps. I have a ticket booked for Amsterdam and accommodations for a week, but after that, the road is wide open. Let’s see where it takes us!
